The Special Ones
by TheAntiHero
Summary: Picks up as Willow steps off the plane from England at the start of S7. WillowKennedy but involves other ships aswell.
1. Follow the Leader Down

Title: Follow the Leader Down Author: anti-hero Rating: NC-17 Genre: Angst/Season Re-Write Category/Ship: Kennedy/Willow, Faith/Michael [All others are CC at this stage] Feedback: I don't beg, but appreciation is fun. Summary: Season 7 re-write. Kennedy's still a potential. It starts in a Willow POV on the day she gets back from England. There's none of the 'they can't see her or her them' thing. Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original BtVS characters they belong to Joss Whedon, UPN, Fox and Mutant Enemy. However, 'Aurora', the songs [unless otherwise stated], Michael, Cera and Maria all belong to me. You can buy them [or parts] for reasonable prices.  
  
Dedication: Izzy/SlayinChic. Call her. my muse.  
  
Goddess. I'm actually going back. Denying the fact that I'm absolutely petrified would be callous. Facing what I know I must when this plane lands, and I step down onto the desecrated lands of Sunnydale once again, honestly I'm at a point where I'm so beyond afraid that I can barely breathe. The truth. I have to look truth directly in the eye and try not to buckle under the pressure. What is the truth? One thought drifts across my mind more than any other. Tara's gone. Gone. Like a snowflake in a waterfall, too delicate for the raging river of my life.  
  
My fault. It's my fault that she took that bullet. Meant for me. For me. Not her. But she's gone and I don't want to go back there, back to the demon-fighting, the pathetic drama and, more than anything else, the memories. Like a film, clarity burning the images deep into my retinas, so they plague me to insanity any time I close my eyes. Giles was always so worried about why I didn't, and don't, sleep. I could never tell him. Never.  
  
Oh sweet Holy Lord. Buffy. Willow, stop shaking! I am your inner voice and I command you to stop shaking. She's your best friend. She is not going to reject you! She's here isn't she? Yes. She's here. For you. Like she said she would be. Like she said she always would be.  
  
"Hey Will." Her smile's just as reassuring as it has always been. Radiating strength and the long-lost serenity we'd all but stolen after we brought her back from heaven. Soft hugs. Always soft.  
  
"Hi." My voice box manages to squeeze out. Fear grips my heart, what does this all mean? Why is this all so irrefutably terrifying. I was expecting. what was I expecting? Them to disown me? Yes. Hate me? Quite possibly. Chain me up and sink me to the bottom of the ocean? Maybe not so much. But. her soft smiles, soft embraces, tell me otherwise. Forgiveness? I surely can't even begin to expect that. After all I've done. All I've put them through.  
  
"Willow." I hear behind me. Turning sharply into the object of Buffy's gaze. Xander. Strong arms wrap gently around my shoulders. More soft hugs. Softness. Like a world coated in cotton candy. But that's all this is. Pretend. Imaginary. Fake. Plastic. Another façade. But it'll do for now.  
  
I feel the emotions rage around me as well as inside. Arms guiding me to a car, then into the house. My room. Not my room. They call it my room, but nothing could be more devoid of anything me. Anything her. Everything her. Why does this feel like some kind of placid, tranquil death sequence. Why does this fear still dig into my soul? I know. Tara's gone.  
  
Tears. I'm alone. Everyone just left me here. Alone. Again. As always. I don't deserve to be with people. Everyone I've loved, I've hurt, in one way or another. So, no more love. Nothing. Emptiness. Safety. Like a warm blanket. My blanket. Forever alone. Doesn't feel so bad after all. Doesn't feel at all.  
  
Bed. Blanket. Real Blanket. Why do my thoughts insist on tormenting me? Why can't the image of her. her blood all over me, the stench of death engulfing all my senses and the emotionless tearing of my heart, out of the front of my chest.  
  
Catatonic thought process. Nothing seems clear. Clarity is reserved for Tara and all images, memories, or Tara. Goddess, my baby, why did you have to leave me? I'm so. dead inside.  
  
Dido - Here With Me.  
  
I didn't hear you leave  
  
I wonder how am I still here  
  
And I don't want to move a thing  
  
It might change my memory  
  
Oh I am what I am  
  
I'll do what I want  
  
But I can't hide  
  
I won't go  
  
I won't sleep  
  
I can't breathe  
  
Until you're resting here with me  
  
I won't leave  
  
I can't hide  
  
I cannot be  
  
Until you're resting here with me  
  
I don't want to call my friends  
  
They might wake me from this dream  
  
And I can't leave this bed  
  
Risk forgetting all that's been  
  
Oh I am what I am  
  
I'll do what I want  
  
But I can't hide  
  
I won't go  
  
I won't sleep  
  
I can't breathe  
  
Until you're resting here with me  
  
I won't leave  
  
I can't hide  
  
I cannot be  
  
Until you're resting here  
  
And I won't go  
  
I won't sleep  
  
I can't breathe  
  
Until you're resting here with me  
  
I won't leave  
  
I can't hide  
  
I cannot be  
  
Until you're resting here with me 


	2. Aurora

Kennedy Lewis, Cera DeGraf, Maria Martinez and Michael Norton make up the group 'Aurora'. Their music being a mixture or Punk, Industrial and Old School Rock'n'Roll. In this reality they are quasi-famous, touring the west coast of the USA. Mainly California.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Who cares about what you believe in? Who cares about the American Way? Liberty and freedom, truth and justice, don't you think you're oppressing that today?" Kennedy half-screams, half-sings into the shiny silver microphone. "Oh shit." She says and steps back. Ceasing her constant abuse of the bar chord on the fret board of her brand new Les Paul Voodoo and gripping her forehead in agony.  
  
"Kennedy?" Michael stands from his sitting position behind the drum kit. His hand gripping the drum sticks in his hands like someone would hold a set of daggers.  
  
His piercing blue eyes, tan skin and spiked black hair had gotten him a lot of attention from women in the past. But never the woman he wanted. She was beyond his reach. Beyond any man's reach. For reasons that had only become apparent since they had become friends.  
  
"I'm fine." Kennedy shakes her head in the manner of clearing it and takes a step back towards the microphone. "Just my head."  
  
"I could understand that." Cera grins at her from her designated place in the recording studio. Bass guitar in hand, Cera could rock anyone to the moon, and back, but without her protective shield blocking the world from her, she's just as lost as a child in a forest. Shoulder-length, layered, dark brown locks and Spanish features caused so many to think that her and Kennedy were sisters. In a way they couldn't believe they weren't separated at birth. It seemed they could read each other's thoughts sometimes. "You sure you're ok though?"  
  
"Yeah I'm fine." She sighs again. Her headaches have been getting better over the past few weeks, but that one night, months ago now, she swore her head was going to explode. The pain had wracked her entire body, sending her into hallucinations. She'd seen blood everywhere, a beautiful red- headed girl and then nothing but darkness. It had infested her vision like a parasite, the same images over and over again. Kennedy had never been more frightened in her entire life. Not since the day she'd been told she was born into a line of girls who were supposed to save the world. None of these things happen to normal people. Sometimes she just longed for normalcy.  
  
"Then let's get this track done, I'm fucked!" Maria sighs and winks at Kennedy. Long, flowing blonde hair, amber eyes with flecks of gold, pouty desirable lips and the curvy figure most women would die for officially crowned Maria the Queen Heart-Throb of the group. When she rocks out with her guitar on stage, men pass out and women load their guns.  
  
"Ok from the top guys, if you're good, Ken?" A familiar voice crackles over the headphones they are all required to wear. Oh the life of rock stars.  
  
"Good to go, Matt." Kennedy smiles at the reflective glass she knows Matt, their producer, is stationed behind.  
  
"Ok. Aurora - Some Time - Take 3. count in."  
  
"One, two, three, four!" Michael clicks his sticks together on each count and they're off again. Maria slides her fingers over the strings, skipping frets with ease, like an intricate dance of her hands. Michael rocks his body with each snap of his drum stick into the snare, exertion painted all over his face.  
  
Kennedy and Cera lean, back-to-back, into each other, nodding their heads in time with the beat of the introduction. Bass notes humming, filling the air with texture and jazz. Chords ripping from Kennedy's humbuckers, her plectrum hitting the strings with pin-point accuracy. Biting down on her lower-lip she moves away from Cera, advances on the microphone like a predator stalking it's prey, and then opens her mouth to belt out the first verse.  
  
"I never believed in religion, it made me feel like something that I'm not I hate the prospect of letting something I can't see, control any aspect of me I don't really see the point of living in a world, where people find justification in blowing up people's homes, because of their beliefs."  
  
Cera walks up to her own mike to deliver the harmony for the first chorus.  
  
"It'll take some time, before you can see, it's trivialised in our media parade And I can't let you, just fall into line It'll take some time, before you can see, what you're looking at isn't real It remains a point to be argued now"  
  
Both girls smile at each other as they step back for the lead break after their duet. All eyes are trained to Maria as she plucks out the pentatonic scale of C. Darting back and forth over strings and frets, Maria grins around at the room as she staccatos the final note and glissandos back into her verse chords.  
  
"But you continue to turn people against their brothers and sisters And you don't seem to care that you're destroying hundreds of innocent lives Who cares about what you believe in? Who cares about the American Way? Liberty and freedom, truth and justice, don't you think you're oppressing that today?"  
  
Kennedy's smile never leaves her face as she screams the last line of the second verse into the grided microphone, pointed at her like a gun barrel. 'It can be so intimidating, the first time you sing into a mike, but after you get used to it. it's so much fun!' Kennedy thinks to herself as Maria and Cera alternate lines on the second chorus.  
  
"It'll take some time, before you can see."  
  
"Four and one make five, five take two is three, but that don't mean you're free!"  
  
"It'll take some time, before you can see, what he's doing anyone could do, so easily."  
  
"It remains a point to be argued now."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeeeeeeaaaaaah!" Kennedy roars as the reverberating notes of Maria's riffs shake through her mind sending shockwaves of amazing proportions through her entire body.  
  
Cera starts the fourth chorus off with her raw, edgy vocals, Maria entangling her sultry, raunchy style in at random intervals.  
  
"It'll take some time, before you can see, that smell you catch is hypocrisy And I can't let you, just fall into line It'll take some time, before you can see; he can't seem to get in all in context again It remains a point to be argued now"  
  
The obvious political motivation that one draws from the song is accentuated by the cheeky grins that spread across the girl's faces as they sing their pointed statements. Maria moves away from her mike and really gets down into the lead of the last chorus. Kennedy takes charge and screams her lungs out.  
  
"It'll take some time, before you can see, it clearly now, through your disguise What's going on, I see the hatred in your eyes It'll take some time, before you can see what you think will save you, really hates you It remains a point to be argued now."  
  
Michael thrashes his arms around, beating every drum, symbol or tom in his path. The result is remarkable. Speedy transitions from one style to the other, beats guiding the girls through any ad-libbing and keeping them in time.  
  
The grand finale of the song approaches and Maria, Kennedy and Cera all stand close to their microphones. Their music starts to slow down, Michael's beats steadying, Maria and Kennedy palm-muting their strums, Cera's bass becoming cleaner.  
  
"It'll take some time" Cera sings.  
  
"It'll take some time" Maria follows on.  
  
"It'll take some time" Cera grooves almost silently.  
  
"IT'LL TAKE SOME TIME!" Kennedy yells, as every instrument cuts out. Two, three and everyone goes at it on C.  
  
"And cut! That was brilliant guys! You're tour is gunna be off the hook!" Matt praises them.  
  
They all know it. They know they're good. They know they rock.  
  
"We'll I'm gunna shower and then hit it." Michael grins around at his band- mates. For a while it had felt more like in-mates. They'd all felt trapped by the contract, but after finding better management, they were free to do what they pleased, write questionable songs and explore individuality. He turns on his heel and walks through the door.  
  
"Right. I'm just gunna go sleep, my head is about to split open and spill brains all over the ground. God, I'm babbling, someone shoot me." Kennedy smiles and walks through the door located at the rear of the studio, behind Michael's drums. They were somewhat forced to live in the apartment above the studio for the duration of their recording.  
  
As she climbs the stairs she hears Maria and Cera talking to each other in whispered voices.  
  
"I'm not going to tell her! You have to, you promised me!" Cera quietly groaned.  
  
"I'll make it worth your while." Maria trailed off and Kennedy swore she could feel Cera's resolve crumbling. Always been a little weak-willed when it came to Maria. Poor Cera. 6 month relationship and she already had it really bad. They are a cute couple though.  
  
'Michael must hate it. In a band with 3 hot girls, all of them gay.' Kennedy smiles to herself as she proceeds up the stairs, her brain not computing that Cera and Maria were discussing her. 


	3. A World of Fragile Things

"Dawnie. I just can't. it's too soon. I just wanna stay here and-"  
  
"And what? Crawl back into that deep dark hole you've taken permanent residency to?" Dawn glared at Willow. She'd watched her sit around, staring into space for two full days. Dawn had held it in, but at this point it was getting completely beyond amusing and wasn't even bordering on concerning. It was becoming boring. Like watching a dog sulk after you've had it de- sexed.  
  
The air of the house had gone from tense to tangibly violating since Willow had return from her so-called recuperation in England. Dawn knew that she was still grieving for Tara, God EVERYONE knew, but it's not as though she was suggesting that Willow go out and have mad-hot lesbian sex with the first remotely attractive female who walked past. She just wanted to try and snap her out of this trance-like state that had caused her to almost fall down the stairs barely hours before this particular discussion had been started.  
  
"What're they called again?" Willow sighed. Somewhat resigned to the fact that dawn was going to drag her off to some teeny-bopper concert at the Bronze. But why couldn't she just leave her be? Nobody else seemed to have a problem with it. Leaving her. Everyone leaves her in one way or another. Leaves. dies.  
  
"Aurora! They're so the most awesome band on the face of the planet. All. mmm and that drummer is soooo dreamy. all dark and spiky." Dawn rambled on, the glazed over look in Willow's eyes going unnoticed by the petite brunette. At the last word of her babble, Willow awakened and stared directly at Dawn in a concerned fashion.  
  
"Spiky?"  
  
"Yeah, his hair. all. spiky. like. a mace!" Dawn sighed and grinned, shuddering.  
  
"Preppy infatuations." Willow half-smiled in return and stood from the position she'd occupied on the couch since Dawn had began her onslaught.  
  
"Yeah. and Buffy, Xander and Anya are coming too. Kinda makin' it a family outing. Woo!" Dawn threw her hands up in mock joy. Even though, deep down, she was glad that Willow had finally stopped the moping and was at least attempting to make big with the joy. Joy is good. Good. Yes.  
  
"The Scoobies re-united kinda thing?" Willow was taken aback by the sudden information that all of the gang would be there. Well, almost all.  
  
"Well yeah. without the evil damned Spike and. yeah." Dawn cut herself off and stared at her hands. Tears brimming, always standing as a constant threat to self discipline, but she controlled herself well enough and was soon her chirpy, bubbly self once again.  
  
"k." Willow muttered her one-worded reply. The memories of Tara starting to well in her mind again. The burning sensation returning to her corneas. Film. Most of these rememberings some back, playing like an old-style movie, no sound, unbelievable. But this time the sounds blared in her mind, she could feel herself shaking as the images danced across the cinema screen of her mind. And it didn't hurt.  
  
She realised that it refrained from ripping her still red raw heart out. They moved her, to tears, to sobbing convulsions, but it felt like there was something different in the meaning this time. A new translation for an old text. This time Tara became translucent, floating, pure ethereal light flooding from her body. She took Willow's cheek in her palm and caressed it gently. Just like she did when she was alive. She didn't seem dead, though. More of a spirit. Until Willow realised. 'It's her soul.'  
  
Her eyes opened. The bright light of the lounge room flooded her senses. Captivating her. Leading her into a standing position. Staring out of the window, bathing her the first true warmth she'd felt since that fateful day that had tormented her since, Willow saw Tara. Clear as the sun rising on a crisp winter's day. She waved. Tara waved. Then her sweet voice enveloped her in chaotic emotions.  
  
'Willow. don't hold onto me, because you can't. don't try to change the memory, because you can't. remember. but don't shut yourself off. I love you always. but you have room enough for two. you'll find her. sooner than you think. I'll watch over you. blessed be baby." And with that, she was gone.  
  
Her eyes opened.  
  
"Willow? Are you alright? Man you just passed out, I was freaking! There's no one else here, are you ok?!" 


	4. All of Me

"It just keeps getting worse!" Kennedy cried out. Michael was standing over her, hovering anxiously, his towel hanging around his waist. Water cascading down his taut chest and abdomen, he kept running his hands through his hair, unsure of what to do.  
  
"Kennedy! Oh shit, what the hell?" Maria and Cera had just made their way to the top of the stairs, after a heavy make out session it seemed by their tousled appearances. Maria was standing stock still, mouth agape while Cera rushed forward and knelt down beside Kennedy. Shock was obviously reverberating through Kennedy's entire body as she took on the appearance of an epileptic on cocaine, shaking and convulsing.  
  
Kennedy gripped at her head, shuddering and gasping for air. Her hands running down her neck, sweat dripping from her arms and forehead, tears coursing down her contorted face. Pain resonating from even pore of her body she started muttering, "Blonde hair. white light. blood. BLOOD EVERYWHERE! Blonde. beautiful. whispering. blessed. be." She forced the last word out through a cough.  
  
As suddenly as it started, it ceased. Kennedy curled her body into the foetal position and began to rock back and forth. The raging ache still ripping her muscles into nothingness. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she wen out cold.  
  
-Kennedy POV-  
  
So we wait. And it's cold, it's raining, and we're all sick of waiting. So we wait. My Mother tells me, almost on a regular basis that life is all about waiting, and taking the opportunities that present themselves. Well, this could be interpreted in so many different ways. You could always just sit on your ass and stare at the TV, or get out into the world, stand and fight for what you believe. You could even just work yourself into the ground and then in 20 years find yourself exactly where you started. I think that's why my Mother didn't belt me on the head when I was born. She's so full of wisdom, but lacks the stories that put her wisdom into practise. I love my Mother.  
  
But we're here. Freezing, pissed off and generally kinda moody. It's dark, the rain beats down around us like bullets in Iraq. Nothing seems to be moving except this torrent of wind and chilling water. For a moment the world allows itself to rest. I wish I could just go to sleep.  
  
22 hours ago I saw myself in 20 years. Sitting with my fucked up friends, drunk off my face, still searching for a meaning in a futile existence that has none. And my revelation was that I'm not going to turn out like everyone's expecting me to. My life can't be ordinary, because I'm not ordinary. And I know I deserve better than what my life seems to be giving me at this stage. But I need to find what it is inside me that's allowing me to tear myself apart, and I think this is what I need to do.  
  
So with this stagnant numbness settling on my limbs, I finally feel like I can fly. Something of a revelation filling my lungs with fresh air. I can finally breathe again. In my previous life I'd never run out of things to say. My mind would always me working and I'd drive the people around me absolutely insane.  
  
Here begins my search for happiness.  
  
So what the fuck is happiness? And why are we all so caught up in fantasising about our perfect lives, and then not getting up and doing anything about it? Because we're lazy, ignorant sons-of-bitches who need to learn where everything starts from and everything ends. There are, of course, those blessed few who have the drive to do it. Refuting my previous attempt at having a go at all of mankind. And there are others who couldn't really give a rat's cock. But, all in all, I'd say we're all just a bunch of non-existent losers with no motivation except what out heart is screaming at us to do.  
  
Standing here still, in the below zero temperature. Grasping at my pockets trying to find the fucking lighter I know is in there somewhere. I adjust my hat, spinning it around to face the front, so as to shelter my cigarette from the persistent rain. I honestly didn't know the earth had the capacity to store this much water, let alone belt it down on a group of gangster looking teenagers in the middle of the night. Why we're on the street at the moment, I'll tell you later.  
  
I love about people my age is that we all seem to be able to see things a lot differently to adults. We're always right, even if we're lying. We tend not to care if everything goes on around us, we can be happy just hovering in our corners bing sheltered from any kind of decision making, because that would take a few neurons more than we have to actually process the task, let alone fulfil the requirements of the result. Oh give me a break. We hate it. We hate that older people don't let us be who we are. This constant fear of rejection can push us so far into ourselves that to extract our minds we have to use tongs and a spatula.  
  
Since this kind of thinking requires no actual train of thought, and mine is consistently succeeding in the action of derailment, I'm going to blurt out any shit that comes into my head, and then refer back to my predicament of being cold in the rain, trying to find my fucking lighter before the rain properly kills my cigarette. Not to mention the waiting. What we're waiting for isn't relevant yet.  
  
My consciousness is currently marvelling at the fact that we collectively call 24 hours of time 'a day'. But then we spilt 'a day' into a morning, a midday, an after noon and a night. Then there's midnight. Lunchtime, dinner. All that. But we don't take into account how much we sleep. "Only so many hours in a day". Ok, sure, there are, but I slept for 7 of those. What in god's holy name am I thinking about NOW?  
  
Then we have our weekends, don't get me started. I'm a bandie. Typical Donnas type. But I'd like to think I'm more of an Anti-Abercrombie political punker. I guess I do have a bad attitude. Probably because I have to live in this pathetic consumer driven society with absolutely nothing to offer me but a bigger TV [not saying no]. I like to kick people's asses for being bastards. Most people need someone to beat the shit out of them once or twice. But it's probably not my place to do it. Oh well. Not my problem if they have a low pain threshold. BEAT THE BARRIER!  
  
-Third Person-  
  
"Kennedy! God! Kennedy?!" Maria's distorted voice echoed through her mind space, wrenching her back into reality.  
  
-Kennedy POV-  
  
I looked around. My bedroom was at least 10 m x 6 m, imitation wood panelled walls, and fluffy carpet on the floor. Couch, TV, bed, desks, stereo, computer and phone. Everything I needed accept a sink to splash water on my face. There always seems to be an exception when I'm describing something. My life seems to be filled with not quites and almosts. Nobody ever noticed the cuts up and down my right forearm, or the fact that I cried myself to sleep every night. No matter really. I never wanted anyone to notice. But in the end someone did. She saw right through me and it made everything different. Everything I'd ever worked hard to conceal deep within myself, it all just came out and I just wanted it all to end. Then she again saved me. She saved me from what I wanted so much to do. She wrapped her arms around me and held me until the tears were all drained away. She said if I did it she'd have to as well, so as to make it hurting her in addition to me. She alone stood by my side when everything hurt so much I could've quietly curled up into a ball and rotted away into the nothingness that I felt was surrounding me. I was pulled away from the darkness that rested inside my mind and all around me. She's not here now. And I'm so lost I can't even find the ground to put my feet on.  
  
We used to hate each other. We'd fight and bitch and scream until our throats were raw with blood and pain. I'd strike out and she'd strike back. It was the way we worked. But then one day the fresh pain seeped through my skin and everyone saw what I'd tried so hard to cover up. My one true inner sanctum. My haven. My own personal secret Eden. My tears.  
  
She stared. Everyone thought I was insane. The 100 or so times I'd let myself succumb to weakness that made me feel more human than any medication ever could. I consoled myself in the faded non-reality of my dreams. But my life went on, even if I remained empty and so close to soulless, and I couldn't look at anything without feeling disgust well up in my stomach.  
  
My existence was plagued my guilt and hatred, that no one could erase from my mind. I wandered around aimlessly, trying to think about anything but what I had become. It still made my brain throb and heart even heavier. There was never anything that made me feel better about who I was. Who I had allowed myself to become. What I had allowed myself to become. I was barely human anymore. To be human, it's required that you're alive. But then I realised that corpses were still classified as human, so I suppose that would make me one.  
  
So I lived my life, lived it in music, in drawing, in uniformed pretend. My Lie. My Truth. But as I lived all I wanted, more and more each day, I knew my destiny was to die. I wanted to die. Most people would then call me suicidal. Another stupid label that just divides society that one step further into our own cataclysmic destruction. But I wasn't in anyway going to kill myself at that point, I just wanted someone else to do it for me. But there I was again, expecting other people to do everything for me.  
  
So I turned away from my cutting. Turned away from the one thing we had together. Because when somebody dies there really is no point in holding onto them, because they're sure as hell not coming back to make you feel better. God's fucked up like that. It seems that life can't be fast- forwarded, erased or rewound. The amount of times I've craved some kind of difference in the monotony that had become my existence. I knew that without her I was nothing. I still know this. I am absolutely, completely and utterly nothing.  
  
Burning, searing, anger raged through my veins, I had to throw up so violently that I thought my internal organs where going to explode with the force of it all. Then the floating. The eternal twists and turns, arrivals and departures, 2 years later and I still don't know what I'm doing.  
  
But the fact that I can't breathe, my body twitching and convulsing with the intake of every breath and how much it hurts to look through my eyes. My eyes scalding me with flashes of my past, memories I wish would fade. Things that I'm not sure even happened becoming so real that I can't control the emotions that rush through me and find myself curling up into the foetal position again, just so the throbbing subsides, even just a little.  
  
Someone, anyone. please just kill me.  
  
-Third Person-  
  
"KENNEDY!" The combination of Cera and Michael hollering at her brought her mind back down to planet earth again.  
  
"My head." Kennedy squeaked out. The thoughts blaring around in her mind so blatantly not her own. Why was this all still inside her? Why wouldn't it go away? This burning, this all-destroying pain. "Make it stop, oh Lord, please make it STOP! Somebody's tearing my head apart."  
  
The girl, helpless, curled up even tighter and started to cry.  
  
-song-  
  
Evanescence - My Immortal  
  
I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears And if you want to leave I wish that you would just leave 'Cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just so much that time can not erase  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears You screamed I'd fight away all of your fears I've held your hand through all of these years You still have, all of me  
  
You used to captivate me By your resonating light Now I'm bound by the life you left behind You're face it haunts my once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just so much that time can not erase  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears You screamed I'd fight away all of your fears I've held your hand through all of these years You still have, all of me  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears You screamed I'd fight away all of your fears I've held your hand through all of these years You still have, all of me  
  
-end song-  
  
"Why? Get out of my head. get out of me." Kennedy wailed, the meaning of her words lost in the translation to her best friends. It made them all wonder what she'd been hiding about her past that could cause this kind of reaction. It had to be bad.  
  
The last image Kennedy saw, before she passed clean out, was the face of the astonishing red-headed angel laying on a floor so similar to the one she was currently encased in. She smiled and whispered, "Cotton case for an iron pill." Her final chuckle so bitter and heartless. So cold. 


	5. Maybe I'll Catch Fire

Willow sat on the corner of the sofa. Digging her nails into her palms. So desperately trying to conceal the all-consuming pain that was ripping through her body. Almost sending her plummeting backwards into unconsciousness again.  
  
It had been so scary. Like living in death and fear. Hatred ripping into her form all sides like a million poison tipped daggers. Dawn had been rambling on about Aurora again. Willow could help but feel warm every time Dawn mentioned the concert. Something about it just made her want to get up and shake of the vision of Tara that she'd been forced to endure. Her thoughts had consisted of how much everything had hurt and these strange, yet painful, things as well. She had remembered things that she didn't even know she had buried in her mind.  
  
She decided it wasn't memories, but something else. Maybe some stray magick left in her system. But she couldn't be sure. It's like she was sharing her sub-conscious with another. Someone who was pumping painful denial into her mind.  
  
So cruel. How can these powers that be, be so incredibly nasty as to inflict this kind of torture on her after she'd had her true love ripped screaming and blood-stained from her arms? So many questions that could be posed, but life's not supposed to be wasted on thinking about the 'why's and 'what-if's. If Tara had taught her anything it would have to have been that.  
  
But how could Tara expect Willow to move on so soon? Her body was barely cold and there she was telling Willow that her heart was strong enough to love again. It barely seemed fair. Almost like a futile attempt at exiling the guilt that refused to cease plaguing her heart. It didn't seem so futile to Willow though.  
  
She had permission? Like Tara wanted her to let go and be with someone else? But there was no someone else. Maybe it was like a premonition for the future. Maybe Willow was to find the girl that she was meant to move on with soon. She could almost feel the vitality of this thought spreading through her body. Stemming at her heart and branching out into her limbs with each beat of her increasingly light heart.  
  
"I can do this." Willow smiled to herself and was suddenly torn from her retrospective stupor by Dawn and her quizzical stare.  
  
"Do what?" Dawn was puzzled at what had caused Willow's outburst into the quiet stillness of the now dark lounge room. Buffy, Anya and Xander had long since returned home. Anya and Xander had then proceeded to edge their way out of the house when Buffy began her tirade on how Willow should try to see past everything that was clouding her vision and get back into life. She had a point. They, at least, had the ability to escape it and return to their place. Dawn and Willow had to stare and pretend like they were listening.  
  
Now Buffy, Dawn and Willow had settled themselves down in the lounge watching old horror movies where vampires had no feelings or skin tone. Buffy knew she longed for the touch. Her long lost love. The truest and most pure of all things. But now he'd left her, just like all of the rest, and she was resolved to get down and dirty with some stud, one-night-stand style, at the Aurora concert. Well maybe not AT the concert, but at least someone she picked up there.  
  
"The concert.. I'm going to come. definitely. are they the band that play Shades of Black?" Willow's statement and question brought Buffy back to reality-land.  
  
"Shades of Black? Oooh the one about the guardian devil? I love that." Buffy grinned at her best friend. The recuperation process obviously starting to take effect, she could see the light, that had dulled since Tara's death, shining back out from her eyes.  
  
"Yeah." Dawn agreed and shoved a few more pieces of popcorn in her mouth. Engrossed in the fake vampire trying to bite into the virgin sacrifice's throat. How typical.  
  
Willow lit up the room with her first warm smile in what felt like forever. She lent back against the rear of the couch and felt the throbbing subside from her head. A song, not an Aurora song, well you never know these days with the covers that bands are pumping out like they're going out of fashion, but a song nonetheless, was starting to play in her mind. She recognised it but couldn't find anything that it caused her brain to recall. No memory attached to it. Just rhythm and melody. The lyrics stood out in her mind and she all but broke out into song as she hummed the famous tune.  
  
Words like unsurpassed clarity drifted through her cleared mind. Nothing mattered but remembering the song in its entirety.  
  
'You with the sad eyes  
  
Don't be discouraged  
  
Oh I realize  
  
It's hard to take courage  
  
In a world full of people  
  
You can lose sight of it all  
  
And the darkness inside you  
  
Can make you feel so small  
  
But I see your true colours  
  
Shining through  
  
I see your true colours  
  
And that's why I love you  
  
So don't be afraid to let them show  
  
Your true colours  
  
True colours are beautiful,  
  
Like a Rainbow  
  
Show me a smile then,  
  
Don't be unhappy, can't remember  
  
When I last saw you laughing  
  
If this world makes you crazy  
  
And you've taken all you can bear  
  
You call me up  
  
Because you know I'll be there  
  
And I see your true colours  
  
Shining through  
  
I see your true colours  
  
And that's why I love you  
  
So don't be afraid to let them show  
  
Your true colours  
  
True colours are beautiful,  
  
Like a Rainbow'  
  
"True colours." She muttered to herself. Cyndi Lauper. How ironic. Irony had no rhyme or reason to it in Willow's mind. It need not. Just another word. So. indescribable how warm she felt inside when the song had finished playing through her head.  
  
"Or not." Dawn grinned at her. No clue as to what was going thought Willow's thought at that moment, but the smile that remained stoutly gracing her sweet features said more than anything else ever could.  
  
"Kennedy Lewis played that song at the last Aurora concert. I watched it live on MTV. It was the most. wow. thing ever. She has the best voice. I wish I could sing like that." Dawn groaned enviously and combed her hair with her fingertips. Twirling, spinning, twisting, like children on a ride at the park. So innocent.  
  
"Kennedy? That's a cool name." Buffy rolled her eyes and grimaced with the sarcasm in her tone.  
  
"Well there's Kennedy, Cera and Maria. And Michael. he's sooooooo fine." Dawn continued. Obviously obsessed with the drummer.  
  
"I like it. The name I mean." Willow spoke up. Some strange sense of loyalty gripped at her gut. She was just intending to sound like there was nothing to it, however she had this odd sensation in the pit of her stomach. Something of a connection almost. "Kennedy."  
  
"Sounds more like a last name!" Buffy cried out. Sending all three girls into a fit of giggles.  
  
"Oh well." Dawn sighed and rested her palm against her cheek, leaning her elbow on the arm of the sofa. Becoming entranced by the mediocre film once again.  
  
They all then allowed their eyes to drift back to the television. The peculiar feeling of belonging settled onto Willow's heart. Kennedy. so. familiar. Yet not at the same time. Something she'd have to work out later. For then she was content in just being normal, for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. 


	6. True Colours

Dedication: Renae. You're a true hero. You're our leader. We all love you.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Advil. Zanax. Drugs to calm this sleeping thrill. I need my guitar. I have to sing something, it's in my head. I know this song by heart. But my head's infernal throbbing just refuses to subside. Beating away like a six year old at Michael's drum kit. I spin the pillow around, search for the cold spot. The heat emitting from every part of me is just making the sweat bead even more. So crazy.  
  
I honestly can't understand why this keeps happening. My mind always resurrects the images of the red-head. That gorgeous girl with the majestic green eyes. Eyes so full of pain, like death resonates from her. Maybe she's an angel. God, thinking hurts too.  
  
"Michael!" I bellow. My voice echoing through my brain sending shockwaves of stabbing pain to ravage my body once again.  
  
I hear thudding, booming sending my head into another dimension of hurt. This is so unfair! What the hell is going on?!?!  
  
"Ken! Thank Jesus, you're alright. We're all spinning out, out there, hey. Man you've got to be on some radical trips for this shit to go down." He grins down at me. Me on my bed. My comfortable bed. So cold. So alone. Alone. Like always. No-one.  
  
"Stop being ghetto, you sound like a squirrel on speed." Kennedy manages through her agony. "Get me my guitar. I have to get this shit out."  
  
"Yes Mistress." He smiles evilly at me and backs out of the room in a bow. Son of a. If I were a tiger I would attack him. Castration being my main aim. Stupid boy. Stupid, stupid boy. Yay! No pain for 3 seconds! Just cursed myself. Damn jinxing-ness.  
  
Well he's fast. And NOT in the immature sexual way either. I have no idea about him in that aspect, and don't have any desire to know. That'd be against my preferred lifestyle. I like my choice in that area. Girls are just. sexy.  
  
"Here ya go. Acoustic and tuned for your pleasure." Michael hands me my brand spankin' new Maton semi acoustic. Hand crafted Australian guitars with the most amazing strumming quality. Think I love her. Her name is. dammit I have no idea what to call her. I name all of my guitars, you see, and. wait. What's this? It's perfect.  
  
I grab the silky smooth neck and, using the instrument's weight to gain leverage, I swing my body into an upright position. Head spin. Sat up to quickly. At least my head's feeling better now. All. non-evil thumping pain and doom. What is it with me and dribbling crap lately? It's like I'm speaking a different version of English.  
  
My fingers form the shape of A minor and I start the song, mellowing and harmonizing in my head simultaneously.  
  
"You with the sad eyes  
  
Don't be discouraged  
  
Oh I realize  
  
It's hard to take courage  
  
In a world full of people  
  
You can lose sight of it all  
  
And the darkness inside you  
  
Can make you feel so small  
  
But I see your true colours  
  
Shining through  
  
I see your true colours  
  
And that's why I love you  
  
So don't be afraid to let them show  
  
Your true colours  
  
True colours are beautiful,  
  
Like a Rainbow  
  
Show me a smile then,  
  
Don't be unhappy, can't remember  
  
When I last saw you laughing  
  
If this world makes you crazy  
  
And you've taken all you can bear  
  
You call me up  
  
Because you know I'll be there  
  
And I see your true colours  
  
Shining through  
  
I see your true colours  
  
And that's why I love you  
  
So don't be afraid to let them show  
  
Your true colours  
  
True colours are beautiful,  
  
Like a Rainbow"  
  
Man. More tears! Am I turning into a child? Am I regressing? Why do these lyrics have to touch me so much? Why do I feel like I'm in love with nothing and hating everything? Why do most rhetoric's start with 'why'?  
  
So I set my new guitar aside and smile. Grinning through tears always makes everything and nothing more bearable. So much wisdom in one so young. Laying back down on the firm mattress of my queen sized bed I feel suddenly at peace. My emotions just aren't my own. at all. So erratic. If I didn't know better I'd I'm pregnant. But there'd be an enquiry, I assure you.  
  
"Willow." I whisper and turn the corners of my lips up softly in the direction of my new guitar. Such a perfect name. So serene. Like a pool of water. So why does my pool feel like fat kids are doing diving practise in it? 


	7. Keeping the Faith

"Do you realise how hard it is to steal cars in LA? I get here and you're asleep. Dat's just whack."  
  
Willow awoke with a start and her body instinctually pulled her upright. She had been dreaming of snowboarding with a faceless girl. Nothing had mattered except keeping her balance. It was strange how relevant dreams can be to reality.  
  
"What in the name of - Faith?" Willow gasped, her hand shooting to cover her semi-exposed chest. 'Not exactly the most graceful thing to do Willow.' She reasoned with herself. 'Evil-Slayer's back in town and you're concerned about covering your body up.'  
  
"Back and swingin' baby." Faith grinned at her Wiccan companion and winked with the click of her palette. "And I'm all good as well. How heart warming." She threw her hands around in mock surprise. 'And Red is all. yummy-like now.' Faith gave her a slight once over.  
  
"So. wait! I though you were in prison!" Willow reached down beside her bed and tugged on her discarded shirt.  
  
"'Were' being the operative word there, Red." Faith smiled her cocky smile.  
  
"And you're here why? And in. my room. why?" Willow was confused and bewildered. How long had it been since Faith had been thrown in prison? And now she's back and having a conversation with Willow? Not exactly clarity defining material.  
  
"Here. well I dunno, just kinda got called." Faith stopped pacing and bit down on her lower lip, confusion dancing across her features as well. Well it's really useful when you don't know how to answer the question and you've already started talking! "Your room. easiest access?" Faith then proceeded walk out of Willow's bedroom door and directly into Dawn.  
  
Willow ripped the covers back and pulled on her jeans, that had been carelessly abandoned the night before. Her feet got in the way as she hastily made her way after Faith.  
  
Dawn's sudden scream awoke everyone still sleeping in the house, which had actually consisted of only Buffy at that time. Buffy and Willow both fell from their rooms into the hallway.  
  
"Faith?" Buffy gasped. Horror and surprise evident in her tone. Buffy's eyes then darted down to Dawn, curled up against the wall at Faith's feet. Shaking. What had Faith done?  
  
"Werd B." Faith turned her head and winked.  
  
"You're here why?"  
  
"You tell me. You put out the call." Faith shrugged and started down the stairs.  
  
"What call? Me? Explain?" Buffy's facial expression and tone gave away her absolute confusion. "And what'd you do to Dawn?!" She started following Faith downstairs.  
  
"Dawn? Nothin'. On the call. uhhh you know. kinda like Slayer SOS. But not. Well. whatever. I dunno. just told me to get here asap. So here's me, being all good convicted felon." Faith turned and stared up at Buffy. "You mean. you had no idea you were doing it. but you still managed to do it?"  
  
"What's 'it'?"  
  
"C'mon B. Never picked you for ignorance."  
  
"Bite me."  
  
"Don't tempt me." Faith licked her lips.  
  
Willow stood at the top of the staircase, Dawn beside her. They were just as, if not more, confused as Buffy. What the hell was Faith doing back? All out of prison and as such. this didn't seem like a GOOD thing.  
  
"Faith, what. are. you. doing. here?" Willow had anger radiating from her. Dawn didn't look much happier. Since when had the killing sister slayer decided to come back?  
  
"Well. here's the deal. I was all nice and warm in my prison cell, when suddenly my mind starts screaming at me to get back to Sunnydale. Not being one to disobey direct orders." Faith laughed at her own pathetic joke, ". I busted out and came running. Now I'm being told it was all make believe?"  
  
Their hap-hazard conversation was abruptly interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. Buffy grimaced and pushed her way past Faith, who turned at watched buffy walk down the remaining stairs and open the door.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
Faith laughed as Buffy recoiled from the door way. "Giles."  
  
"Faith? So it's true?"  
  
"Very true."  
  
"What's true?" Roared two shocked voices from the height of the stairwell behind. 


	8. Hellmouth and Punching Bags

"Fuck you Aurora." the CD player belts out. If Matt Skiba didn't deserve to be crowned King of the World then I'd take offence. ". you took my only friend."  
  
"So where's the first venue?" Michael leans back over his couch and grabs me.  
  
Manager meeting. I hate him. Greg Thompson. He's like a leech. A leech on our bank accounts, on our time. and mainly on my dignity. He seems to enjoy torturing me with snide remarks about various things. Usually my sexuality. Hello? Earth to slimy guy who needs to learn the word 'shower': 'Maria and Cera are lesbians as well! Ever occurred to you to not target me? Oh, I forgot, you have a crush on Maria. Aww. Don't make me hurl.  
  
"Well. hi Kennedy, how's your head?" He grins up at me. You'd think with all the money he scams out of our record company he'd be able to afford a toothbrush. Some people. psssh.  
  
"What's that smell?" I sneer back at him. I want to shoot him. Repeatedly. In the head. With. a crossbow. I like those, nice and heavy to belt things with if they don't die. I wish Greg would die. He HAS to be a demon. There's no way a human would ever let themselves become so revoltingly. ugh. yuk.  
  
"What's wrong honey? Not getting any action?" UGH! The nerve! Hold me back, I'm going to snap his neck!  
  
Michael tightens his grip around my waist and pulls me down onto the couch, next him. He stares me down. 'Do not kill the guy who got us a record deal' he must be saying. Recent discovery: Michael's eyes talk.  
  
"Back on topic. before human sewer here got all homophobic. where's the first venue?" Michael repeats his question. But it's lost on Greg, he's staring at Maria's exposed thigh. Very nice I have to admit, but it doesn't help our cause.  
  
I snap my fingers in front of his face, utmost disgust emanating from Maria as her attention is drawn to the slime ball with his eyes trained on her. "Earth to perve boy! Where's the gig?"  
  
Greg coughs and sits up a little. "Uhhhh, Cera said she'd tell you."  
  
"Cera?"  
  
She stares directly at me. Obviously her and Maria know, but me and Michael don't, so I'm pissed. I'm only the lead singer, you know, easy to forget me.  
  
She squeaks a little then opens her mouth, "Suphersdulf." She manages, her voice box sounds like it's closed up entirely. What the hell?  
  
"Suffers Gulf?" Michael laughs and plays with his hair.  
  
Maria grins at us and replies for her girlfriend, "Sunnydale."  
  
Oh. My. Gawd.  
  
"As in. THE Sunnydale?" I can not believe this. Our first gig's on the Hellmouth? I'm gunna die.  
  
"Ummm, something wrong girls?" Michael's eye dart back and forth between Maria, Cera and I.  
  
"Sunnydale, California." Greg grins. "We'll be leaving in about." he checks his watch. ".4 hours. The bus will pick you up out the front."  
  
I barely register that Greg's odour isn't present anymore. Why me? On the Hellmouth. this is. oh God. Save me.  
  
"Ok, what's da deal wid Sunnydale?" Michael sits froward in his chair.  
  
"H-he-he-hell-m-mouth." I stutter out. Here's me, potential Slayer, too old to be called really, but still, I'm a potential. And I have to go and play a loud rock concert on the Hellmouth. First gig. This. this is. wrong. Why am I scared? I kick ass!  
  
"As in. whoa! Ken, shiyat." He slumps back into the chair.  
  
"Ok. I can deal with this. As long as there's nothing bad going down there. I'm sure I'll be fine. Just kinda gotta lay off the Slayer vibe I guess."  
  
"You say it like it's a pill or something." Maria smiles her gorgeous smile at me from across the room. I can kinda understand how Greg could get a boner from looking at her legs. I mean. she has cool legs. Ahhh I dunno.  
  
"Well." I sigh. You can do this Ken! You've always been good at dealing with shit. I mean, you've got no parents, no family, a lot of money and not a shit load of responsibilities. Life's ok. You can do this. ".we've got 4 hours. The roadies will have packed up the stuff. so we can't practise. I'm gunna go downstairs and train."  
  
"Wanna hand? I could do with a workout." Cera offers, and I can't help but smile. When will she quit trying to look after me? I mean, ok, we've been through a lot together. but she's not my watcher. He's dead. Everyone has this habit of dying.  
  
Some days I'm happy I never got called. It means that there's someone experienced calling the shots on the big bads. And my friends aren't in danger because of me. I'M not in danger. well anymore than the next rock star. But then I wonder what it'd be like. What kinda life it'd be. How much different I would be. How maybe everything would've turned out different. Maybe I wouldn't have nightmares. Maybe my nightmares would be worse. I usually decide it's for the best, the safety of everyone not on my shoulders, those few times I wish I HAD been called. well I guess I'm just power hungry or something.  
  
"Yeah, that'd be nifty."  
  
"You just said nifty!" Maria roared and I felt the laugh cascade from my throat. I did. How odd. I don't think I even know what it means.  
  
"Yea-hah. Right. Uhhh meet you guys back up here in about 2 hours ok? Still gotta pack and stuff." I'm being distant on purpose. I hate it when Maria laughs at me. Makes me wanna kick her head in. Her laugh is just so condescending. I love her though, she one of my best friends, but she's just. not normal. Hahaha. I'm a hypocrite and I love it!  
  
"Right." Maria winks at me. "Cool." Michael smiles at me.  
  
"Punk rock, let's go." Cera grins and grabs me by the arm. She's such a loser. My sister is a loser. Well. not my sister, but you know. Shut up Kennedy, internal monologues are so 1980's. 


	9. Just a Song

Well I have to skip ahead. This is moving slowly, I know, but that is my intent. I want to set the record for stupidly large numbers of chapters. This'll probably have around 1000000000000000000000000000000000 because I think I could make this go on forever.  
  
Now, onto this chapter.  
  
"Oh the night, That sweet rapturous night, For the first time I felt normal. Like the world ain't on my shoulders, You've just made me feel human again."  
  
Dawn sang along with the car's stereo as she listened to the newest Aurora CD for the seventieth time that day. She'd been the first teenager in Sunnydale to own it due to her rabid compulsion to buy things online. It wasn't to be publicly released until the concert started in 2 hours.  
  
"And I'm not gonna lie, this truth's too hard to fight, It's like complicated but not so hard to understand."  
  
Willow sat back into the passenger seat of the car, sighing deeply. Anticipation and a strange feeling of foreboding encompassing her. Anya and Xander were on either side of Dawn in the back, sitting upright, trying to restrain themselves from throttling Dawn. Buffy gripping the wheel tightly, her knuckles going white, traffic streaming past them as they sat at the round-about. The repetitive nature of the CD in the player was about to send her over the edge. Slayer nerves and all.  
  
"You and me, I'll just put it down as 'we', Something of a paradox in life and tragedy. Love, lo and behold, then the breaking of this freedom."  
  
Suddenly Willow paid attention to the track. The lyrics scorching her like nothing had done for weeks. Since the visions. Stupid visions. That name, 'Kennedy', had echoed through her mind for days on end before she forced herself to put it down to the girl who sang lead in Aurora. It HAD to be that. What else could it be?  
  
"Freedom. Supposed to be a metaphor for nothing left to lose, Or even another way of saying 'I live the way I choose'. But I chose you, and you kept me warm at night, That night, oh that night."  
  
What exactly was the song supposed to be referring to? It seemed like someone had written a song from HER soul. Willow mentally dog-eared the track number. '3. Well that's ironic. Big with the irony lately aren't we Willow?'  
  
"You and me, I'll just put it down as 'we', Something of a paradox in life and tragedy. Love, lo and behold, then the hurting in this fades."  
  
'Who writes a song with the word 'paradox' in it anyway? Well obviously THIS band does.' As the bronze approached them through the windscreen, Willow was thrown back into her seat in shock. She couldn't believe that there were this many people IN Sunnydale, let alone enough to get dressed up like complete teeny- boppers and stand outside the club waiting for entry to see a band. She breathed a sigh of relief when she glanced down at her ticket and saw that they had primo entrance privileges. Wonderful what large amounts of money can do. No lines! Wooo!  
  
"Like scars, like memories, like foolish games, Shakespeare said 'What's in a name?' Why does my heart skip, every time that I hear yours? I guess it's all the same."  
  
'Not really.'  
  
"C'mon Willow! This is gonna be sooooooo cool!" Dawn all but pushed Xander out of his car door then flew towards the entrance to the Bronze.  
  
Willow looked over at Buffy. She was daunting by the expanse of people, almost as much as Willow.  
  
"Lots of people equals attractive buffet lunch to vamps. But since the sun will still be out until the doors close, I'm sure they all be somewhat safe. And if not I'll be there, same with Xander, Anya and you. Total ass kicking avengers. Well own. It'll be cool? Right? Right. Yeah." Buffy was panicking. NOT a good sign.  
  
"Just a rock concert. It'll be cool." Willow forced a smile.  
  
She wasn't so sure.  
  
"You and me, I keep putting it down as 'we', Something of a paradox in life and tragedy. Love, lo and behold. Then how you were. so cruelling. taken from me."  
  
"Argh!" Willow spat and palmed the CD player. Harder than she expected she would. Stupid song.  
  
The track stopped and the CD ejected.  
  
"Well let's do this." Anya piped up cheerfully from the backseat at jumped out of the car.  
  
"Yeah." Buffy agreed and then sighed. "This is going to be fun. No weird stuff tonight? Please?" She begged no-one.  
  
Willow and Buffy shut their doors simultaneously and gave each other a furtive glance before making their way to Dawn, who was impatiently standing by the VIP entrance. 


	10. Respirer Savoir Amour

I had this nasty dose of writers block lately. Sorry about that. This might be irrepressibly screwed, I wouldn't know, I just typed it out and then posted it, no editing, no re-reading.  
  
To try and combat writers block I update my website, and since I'm writing this and I couldn't think of anything to do to it, I made a stupid 'thing'.  
  
To view this crap, -laughs- I really mean that too, go to:  
  
Yeah. Concert time chidlin!  
  
Oh my sweet merciful Lord! I think I'm going to die! Nervous. so nervous. this neon tape on the carpet is making me dizzy. Or maybe that's the gripping fear that's shredding my insides, piece by piece.  
  
"Michael!" I hear an unfamiliar voice behind me call out. A male voice, like a piercing beam of light it tears through me. What the hell?  
  
Suddenly the dull roar of the crowd out in the club rises like mercury in boiling water. Screaming, bellowing, whistling. It never really hit me how popular we are until now. A thousand or so people out there like our music. And this is one of the smallest gigs on the tour. I'm hyperventilating! KENNEDY! CONTROL YOURSELF!  
  
"Cera!" A mere second later and the noise levels lift another million decibels.  
  
"Maria!" This sound is almost unbearable. How I would imagine a banshee would sound if you gave it a megaphone.  
  
"Kennedy!" It takes a nanosecond to register that the voice is calling out to me now. Rattling me to the core I can feel the unseen eyes of whoever the voice belongs to penetrating me. Visibly violating me. It's not just the crowd that's scaring me now.  
  
My legs, shaking, stumble towards the curtain that bars us off from the roaring, raging mob. My subconscious pushes my arm out to the side and I feel my fingers close around the neck of my Les Paul. A quick glance to my left confirms this. As I force my feet to lead me to the stage entrance the handmade leather guitar strap that Michael's brother, Jarrad, had given me for my last birthday. It's embossed with blue vinyl that's been fashioned in the shape of flames, then, in gold, along the left hand side, closest to my arm are the words "Pour respirer. Pour savoir. Pour amour." French for 'To breathe. To know. To love.' Jarrad was a really great guy.  
  
Oh jeez, I'm about to go on stage to play our first concert since this sudden success and I'm getting all nostalgic about Mike's dead brother. 4 steps.  
  
3 steps. This crowd is at a point that is beyond loud. I've heard jet engines that are quieter.  
  
2 steps. I wonder what would happen if I froze and couldn't sing. Think they'd all kill me?  
  
1 step. Man, I can do this! Gotta stop with the doubt. I can do this, I can.  
  
Stage entry. I can do this.  
  
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! AURORA!"  
  
"Holy Shit." 


	11. Silent Symphony

Willow stood still and stared up at the stage. The various, seizure- inducing lights seducing her smile and the first sight of the raven-haired lead singer had her breath caught in her throat.  
  
"Holy shit." Kennedy grinned at the crowd. "Wow. This is amazing. Let's rock, Sunnydale!"  
  
Her fingers formed the bar chord version of A flat. The fine-cut distortion reverberating the lucid notes around the stage. Three heavy hammer-ons and then a slide to the A position. Gliding her hand back to the A flat, three more times and then to the G.  
  
"And she thought that it was over, yeah, she thought that she was done."  
  
Maria jumped forward and ripped out a clean, superb riff in A minor.  
  
"Now you see it in my eyes and you can't stand to know recognition."  
  
Bass patterns drifted over the gyrating crowd as Cera pumped her hand against the thick strings, creating a choreographed silent symphony with her fingertips.  
  
"I knew I had potential. too scared to let it wane. I'll be here when you get home again."  
  
The drum and bass solo rang out through the air, sudden silence caught everyone's attention, stopping their movements. Willow looked around and caught Buffy's eye, they both shrug and turned their attentions back to the stage.  
  
As suddenly as it had ceased, the music began again, the pure mind-blowing vocal skills of Kennedy Lewis blowing the crowd away. Sheer, vivacious, raw and edgy she sang her soul out in the chorus.  
  
"Get me away from all this, Get me away from all this pain, Get me away from this retribution, Coz I don't know where I fit in."  
  
Everyone in the venue cheered and Willow smiled when she saw Dawn dancing with one of her friends from school. A guy with short black hair and a vacant grin. Trust Dawn to pick up the jocks.  
  
"Your face haunted reality."  
  
Her eyes snapped back to the girl dazzling the masses with her mixture of energy and talent. It hadn't eluded Willow that Kennedy was absolutely stunning. Her face giving off a faint, vibrant glow; a body to die for; and a sexiness in her movements that concocted unwholesome images in the minds of guys and girls alike.  
  
"That name so soft and sweet."  
  
'What am I thinking?' willow had screamed at herself internally. 'And why aren't I dancing?'  
  
"Catapulting me into this dream. more like a nightmare."  
  
The astonishing tightness of the band's musicianship brought the crowd to an almost sudden stand still. Like someone had hit the slow motion button, then abruptly the started up again and play was resumed.  
  
"Field signals, mixed illusions, Help me find this that I'm searching for, Some kind of meaning. in this constant dreaming."  
  
Drum break. Michael tore his body left and right, up and down, belting and crashing his way around the snare and cymbals, his foot beating down on the bass pedal.  
  
"Get me away from all this, Get me away from all this pain, Get me away from this retribution, Coz I don't know where I fit in."  
  
After the second chorus a new life spread rampantly through the mob of people dancing to the band's rhythm. They started moving faster, more in time. Like everyone had swiftly found the groove.  
  
As the music started the slow decent into the finale, Kennedy trickled her fingertips, like water against the strings. So softly, gently, like she was stroking a new born puppy.  
  
Her breathing turned into words so quiet that they were almost indecipherable.  
  
"Wasting words, wasting time, Digging deeper into my mind, Trying to be more than just my lie, Forging. a path to take."  
  
Maria plucked out her solo, then proceeded running her pick up and down the strings, catching in the rivets. Cera slapped her hand repeatedly against the top two rope-like cords just over her humbuckers. Michael threw his hands about the kit, closing his eyes, a slight smile graced his features. He could hear how together they were, they were playing the best they /ever/ had.  
  
"Get me away, Get me away. Retribution. Life is generally painful. Dangerously unstable. Destroy me. Consume me. Burn. me. ALIVE."  
  
Kennedy was harmonised by Maria on the last word.  
  
The lights turned sharply and illuminated the masses of people that were making a corresponding amount of noise. As the beam reached the back of the crowd, Kennedy lost her grip on the neck of her guitar as well as that which she had on reality.  
  
'She's here.' Her mind was roaring at her.  
  
Kennedy lowered her head and squinted towards where she'd seen the girl. She had to find her. Find out why she was always lingering in Kennedy's mind.  
  
"Kennedy?" She heard Cera's questioning voice. But nothing seemed as important as finding the girl. The red-headed Goddess with breath-taking emerald eyes. Her hand reached up and blocked the blinding lights from clouding her vision.  
  
Distorted shapes came into play as her pupils resized and readjusted to the new light status. As she became more focused she glimpsed the girl again. Staring straight back at her.  
  
It was the last thing she saw before she realised the look of utter horror on the woman's face. People screaming. Then a feeling of falling. Then black. 


	12. A Hellmouth Thing

-Dawn POV-  
  
"BUFFY!" I scream. Where is she? This demon is cutting off the circulation to my brain! No smart comments. Got it?  
  
If she's not going to be helpful then I guess I'm gonna have to do this myself. I've watched her kick ass so many times, I KNOW I can do this. So just kick off that upturned table, swing your body around and shove your shoulders into him as you kick his face into the other side of his head.  
  
"ARGH!" Well that sure hurt. It doesn't help when their heads are metal plated. Doesn't help at all.  
  
"Get the fuck off her!" A gravely female voice behind me roars. Now there's no demon. Demon gone bub-byes, yay! So I turn and stand up from where I was rudely thrown as the unknown girl beat the crap outta the evil nasty that was restraining me from kicking it's butt to Mexico.  
  
"Kennedy LEWIS?!?!" I can't help it. Since when do bandies learn how to beat down on demons? Ooooh, looks like they broke her guitar, from what I know of her love for her instruments, they're all gonna diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie.  
  
I watch her weild the snapped neck of her Les Paul with expert accuracy, shielding me with her body as a group of 3 demons advance on us. Holy shit! This is kinda scary. A little more scary than life with the Scoobies is usually anyway.  
  
"Dawnie!" Willow's voice bellows over the ruckus that had been raised since we'd all started going a little primal on the bastards who interrupted the best concert. One song?!? SO RUDE!  
  
"Willow!" I reply. No need to be rude. As I scream out her name I see Kennedy physically recoil and stare at me in a confused and shocked fashion for a split second. What the.  
  
"Dawn." I feel a gentle grip close around my forearm. Willow.  
  
"I'm ok, just getting looked after by my hero." I grin at her. Ummm ouch? I feel my face retract into a wince. Mmm, blood sure is tasty, or NOT! Wow, looks like I copped one before Kennedy got to me. Shouldn't I remember this?  
  
"Kennedy!" I call out, she's kind of just hovering around turning from side to side, quite a large number of decapitated demons piled up around her. Looks like all the demons are somewhat dead. We sort of need a purpose don't we? "Get back here! It being clear now and all."  
  
So she turns around. Whoa! Someone does what I say. if I wasn't so damn shocked I'd be screaming with joy. Kennedy Lewis saved my life! But the lingering questions of how and why keeping thumping my brain. Ok, so she's staring at Willow. I guess that's a good sign? Not so sure.  
  
-Willow POV-  
  
I'm so glad dawn's alright, but how in the hell did the lead singer of a rock band learn how to kick ass with a guitar fret board. Maybe I don't wanna know.  
  
"Does that happen to you a lot?" I squeeze out, my voice box still half- paralytic in fear. Well you're cool Willow. I mentally smack myself in the head.  
  
"Not really. Must be a Hellmouth thing." She shrugs in return. Understandable reply I guess. wait! Hellmouth?  
  
"How do you know." I start but don't get to finish 'cause here comes the Buffster.  
  
"Who know you could fight as well?" She smiles bemusedly at Kennedy, who's still staring at me. It'd be a little creepy if I didn't feel like doing the same thing to her.  
  
"You're Buffy Summers right?" She momentarily diverts her gaze to Buffy. Goddess, how'd she know that? Not as though Buffy's famous or anything.  
  
"Yeah. how'd you know that?" Buffy's features betray her usual nonplussed attitude to bewilderment.  
  
"Well I guess you know my name. but. I'm Kennedy, next in line." She smiles and extends her arm, turning away from her direct invasion of my soul with her eyes. Well /that/ wasn't intense.  
  
"Slayer in training? Cool!" Dawn stares at her sister then at Kennedy, finally at me. Well /this/ is a development. 


	13. Invigorating

"What an interesting concert this has turned out to be." Xander walked up to the group of 4 girls standing around. "Anyone know where Anya is?" His voice implied a bemused yet worried tone.  
  
"MMMPPPPPPPPPPHLATPH!" A muffled bellow is heard from beneath a particularly built up area of dead demons.  
  
The group laughed as Xander pulled one body after another off Anya. "Fine! Laugh at me. I'm just being suffocated by the smelly corpse pile, no big deal, dead Anya!"  
  
"Sorry. Anya did you say it was?" Kennedy stepped forward and pulled her up out of the gooey mess she was in.  
  
"Yes. Anya." She pursed her lips together. "Hold on! You're. you're." The last two words stuttered out before she shook her head and walked into Xander's arms. "I'm confused."  
  
"Anyone seen the rest of my band?" Kennedy suddenly asked, looking around the Bronze with concern painted over her features.  
  
"Maria's there." Dawn piped up and pointed towards the stage, where Maria was standing, staring around the club. The lights still shining on the stage obviously blinding her, as they had Kennedy earlier in the night. "Cera's there." Dawn proceeded to spin around and gesture towards the bar where Cera was browsing the selection of alcohol hidden beneath the bar. "Michael. however. I haven't spotted."  
  
"Michael!" Kennedy suddenly gasped and practically fell over the dead demons as she made her way to Michael's side. He's taken a sharp object into the stomach. Eyes glazed over, breathing shallow, Michael's body was shaking with the effort of staying alive. His blood was pooling beneath him.  
  
"Ken?" He breathed. "S'at you?" As he spoke blood started to trickle from his mouth.  
  
"Oh God..." Kennedy whispered, the tears welling in her eyes. Struggling to comprehend that he could be dying, she reached down and applied pressure to his wound. His face crumpled at the contact.  
  
Willow stood behind Kennedy, watching in horror. Her mind screaming at her to help. 'But how?' She replied. 'You know how.' It tells her. She's does know. But can she do it?  
  
"Kennedy?" Willow asks, amazing strength in her voice, that surprises even her.  
  
Kennedy turns and stares into the questioning emerald eyes. All panic suddenly leaving her.  
  
"I can help." 


	14. His Mind

Buffy stood back and watched as her best friend knelt down beside the newly discovered Slayer in Training, reaching her hands out over the gaping wound in Michael's stomach. She closed her eyes.  
  
Willow focused her energy onto her hands, felt the light bead from her heart, mind and soul into the source of his pain. She closed off the negativity threatening to invade her connection. His mind opened and progressed to feed her with his memories. She saw his first birthday, the first time he saw Kennedy in elementary school, meeting Cera and then Maria, them playing their first gig in a coffee shop, signing the record deal, the phone call from his father when his brother was killed, watched them lower Jarrad's casket into the ground, she felt the pain. She then saw Kennedy comforting him after the funeral, the band in the studio recording, Kennedy passed out on the floor, Kennedy training, she could see his love for her in every movement, then as she saw the demon stab him in the stomach with a chair leg she was thrown backwards.  
  
Hitting a pillar, Willow slid down. Sweat pouring from her body, shuddering, tears streaming down her face, Willow knew his inner most desires and feelings. It was scary. Plain scary. It hadn't even crossed her mind that she hadn't turned into black-evil Willow.  
  
"Willow!" Kennedy, Buffy, Dawn and Xander had yelled in unison, before abandoning everything and baring down on her convulsing form.  
  
"Let's get her home." Buffy ordered. Bending down and scooping her friend into her arms she looked over at Kennedy. "Get your band, follow us, you have a vehicle right?"  
  
"Yeah." Kennedy struggled to hold back the tears that were building up behind her eyes.  
  
Michael, Cera and Maria were hovering at the rear of the club, close to the stage. Michael shocked that he wasn't dead, his eyes demanded an explanation.  
  
As Buffy, Xander, Anya and Dawn walked from the Bronze, Willow cradled carefully in Buffy's arms, Dawn turned and looked backwards at the band, "By the way, you guys were really good!"  
  
The four figures looked over at her and grinned, somewhat painfully. Somehow the music didn't mean as much as it had 20 minutes ago. Kennedy knew she had to say here now, she wouldn't be able to continue the tour knowing that the answers to so many questions she'd been plagued with since she'd be told of her destiny could be answered by these 5 strangers.  
  
"Let's go." Cera stated and made her way behind the stage. Maria nodded and followed.  
  
"You're alright?" Michael questioned Kennedy.  
  
"Yeah, bit shaken. Impaling aside, you're good now?" Kennedy leaned into him as he draped his arm around her shoulders.  
  
Smiling weakly he sighed, "I guess. We're in for a long night, right?"  
  
------  
  
As the group of rock-stars parked behind Xander's Audi people mover, then all glanced at the house they had decided to refer to as Slayer-Central. Maria's smart idea.  
  
Jumping out of the station-wagon Michael had 'borrowed' from the parking lot. Kennedy had lied a little about them having a vehicle. They had the tour bus, but there was no way any of them were game to drive that.  
  
"Welcome to Casa Summers." Dawn smiled, waiting behind to walk the band into the house. 


	15. She's here, you'll see

Willow's eyes opened only to forced themselves closed again.  
  
"Will." a whispering voice coaxed her from her semi-conscious stupor. "Willow."  
  
She felt a soft hand caress her cheek, she pressed her eyelids together hard and used all the strength she possessed to pry them open again.  
  
Tara's soft, angelic face smiled down her.  
  
"Baby." Willow breathed. Smiling lightly.  
  
"It's her Will. she's here." Tara bit down on her lower lip and guided Willow's head to look at Kennedy sitting on the floor at the foot of the sofa Willow was laying on.  
  
"Her? But the guy. Michael. he loves her. she must love him. it doesn't make sense. I still love you." Willow felt herself start to cry again.  
  
"Ssshh, don't cry." Tara let Willow's head fall back onto the pillow that had been placed below her head. "You'll see." Willow blinked and she was gone.  
  
In her place an attractive teenage boy looked into her eyes sadly. "Willow Rosenberg."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Thanks for not letting him die."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Michael."  
  
"What's Michael to you?"  
  
"I look after him, but I couldn't and you saved him for me. Thank you."  
  
"It's ok. I guess. I'm a little confused."  
  
"Soon you'll understand. Tara said that you're smart. I believe her. She's watching over you. But you already know that."  
  
"Yeah." A slight smile twitched the corners of her mouth.  
  
"I have to go, well done, by the way."  
  
"Well done?"  
  
"You stayed in this reality. You didn't black-out, so to speak." His eyes twinkled with his warm smile.  
  
"I guess. What's going to happen now?"  
  
"You'll see." The boy clicked his fingers.  
  
-----  
  
Willow's body jerked upright. "Jarrad."  
  
The room suddenly grew silent. Kennedy stood from her seated position. Buffy took a few steps towards the sofa. Everyone else stood stock still.  
  
"Willow?" Buffy's voice refused to hide how concerned she was. Willow had been out for 3 hours. Although it had been an informative 3 hours, Buffy was still a little worried about her friends. Giles had assured them she was merely unconscious and she would awaken when her sub-conscious was ready, but it didn't change the fact that she'd done magic, and magic affected Willow. Bad ways as well as good.  
  
Michael walked towards the still dazed witch. "Jarrad? My brother?" his voice more forceful than he'd intended.  
  
Kennedy rested her hand on his back, looking deeply into Willow's eyes, searching for some kind of reason. How could she know about Jarrad? She couldn't.  
  
"Tara." The red-head simply stated and let herself flop back against the sofa.  
  
"Who's Tara?" Maria asked. Looking around the room. Anya and Xander hovering in the doorway from the kitchen. Cera seated beneath Maria, arms encircling her waist. Dawn standing with Faith, both keeping their distance from each other, but obviously standing together purely for the sense of familiarity. Buffy hovered over Willow as Kennedy tried to pull Michael back. He wanted to know what she'd seen.  
  
Dawn stood out from the wall "Tara's."  
  
"Tara's not here." Faith cut in, glancing over at Willow. "Red, you want something? Water or."  
  
"Water'd be great thanks." The surprise was evident in her tone, Willow hadn't expected Faith to even give a shit about her. Let alone be the one offering to help.  
  
"Tight, be back." Faith pushed through Xander and Anya was she went to the kitchen.  
  
"So Kennedy, you're a potential slayer? That must be kinda. weird. I never really asked Faith what it was like, being all next in line-y." Willow forced a smile and sat up. Her body aching, she had no idea why she'd felt the impulse to save Michael, or why it didn't flip her evil switch. But she also didn't know if she was ready for the reasons either.  
  
"Yeah. I guess it is kinda weird. but I've got great friends to help me deal. What about you? All witchy and-"  
  
Kennedy was suddenly cut off by Giles bursting into the house. "Oh, you have company. Kennedy? Oh Lord. Ahhh. Buffy. we need to talk." 


	16. You're With Me

"So you're telling me that this 'Reine furcht' is the personification of pure fear and is coming to Sunnydale. So we have to call on all of the trained potential slayers to fight it?" Buffy stared disbelievingly at Giles. The information of the last half an hour hadn't quite sunk in. She was somewhat holding her breath, pinching herself, trying to wake up.  
  
"Yes, but they've already been called." Giles took of his glasses and placed them on the table. "Buffy you have to understand this part. You're sub-conscious already knew that it's coming, it put out the call long ago. That's how Faith knew to come."  
  
"My mind's thinking on it's own now?" Buffy snapped back to reality and realised the error in her last rhetoric. "I mean. I don't know what I meant."  
  
"This is a lot to take in. But we must act quickly. I can not enforce how imperative it is that this situation is put above all others. This isn't even a force that we can see, it only takes form when it's becoming that which you fear the most. It can delve into your deepest, most secret thoughts and exploit you, tear you apart from the inside."  
  
"How am I supposed to fight it?" She sat herself down in one of the chairs that took permanent residence around the table. "If I can't see it. it can't have a heart or head to stick pointy things into. right?" She looked up into Giles' eyes.  
  
"Exactly. We need to research." He placed a palm on back as a gesture of comfort. Worry etched into his face like a Sioux carving.  
  
"Willow?"  
  
"Dawn as well. She's not as clueless as we take her for. I believe she has the makings of a incredible watcher, or even a witch." Giles stated matter- of-factly.  
  
"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves." Buffy sighed and brought her hands up to apply pressure to her temples. She could feel the beginnings of a nasty headache coming on. "Can you explain to me how you know Kennedy Lewis?"  
  
"I knew her watcher. Before, well, he was killed. a few years ago now. A great man, Edward. One of the best in our field. So excited when he was assigned the next in line, after Faith of course. Didn't know it would be his downfall." Giles rubbed his eyelids with his index finger and thumb, putting pressure on the ridge of his nose. He could feel the headache brewing. "How about we find everyone somewhere to sleep?"  
  
"Ok. Ummm. I'll get Willow onto it." Buffy rose from her chair, took a few steps towards the doorway before spinning on her heal and facing Giles again, uncertainty gracing her features, asked, "Am I going to die again?"  
  
Giles couldn't help but laugh. Her glare brought him back to earth. "No, I'm serious! I have this habit of dying!"  
  
"Buffy, you're strong, you can beat this. Now go, people need sleep." He motioned for her to get lost.  
  
Unbeknownst to neither Buffy nor Giles, Kennedy had been leaning against the balustrade of the stairwell. Now she was curled up at the base of the stairs, tears silent streaming down her face. Her mouth formed the word 'Edward.'  
  
Meanwhile in the lounge room a debate had started over who should sleep where, and whether or not the band should return to their hotel for the night.  
  
"Really, the only person who needs to stay is Kennedy, and she's still in the bathroom, so I'm guessing she's staying, and they're leaving." Xander stated logically.  
  
"But Kennedy will probably want her friends around, won't she?" Dawn piped up hopefully. Obviously trying to keep Michael in the house. Her eyes kept flickering over to him as she spoke.  
  
"I say we go to the hotel, and come back early tomorrow. There's not going to be a enough room here for all of us anyway." Maria smiled down at Dawn and mouthed the word 'Sorry'.  
  
"I guess, I makes sense. We'll go to the hotel. Ok Mike?" Cera glanced over at Michael who was sitting on the couch, sulking. His reply was to merely shrug and sigh. "That settles things. We're going to the hotel, Kennedy's staying here to be Slayer-fied."  
  
"No. We're staying here." Michael grunted. "I'm not leaving her here with these weirdos."  
  
"Weirdos? Excuse me Mr Hair-Care, but I ain't no weirdo. Just coz you want some of it don't make it like you." Faith snarled. "And even if I am a little abnormal don't make you the pinnacle of purity."  
  
"Well it's getting late. So I'm gonna crash. Somewhere. Here." Michael kicked his boots off and laid down on the couch. Closing his eyes, he blocked out the world and drifted off to sleep almost instantly.  
  
"Ahhh, sorry about him. This means we're staying, if that's ok?" Cera bit down on her bottom lip and looked at the ground.  
  
"You two can sleep in the basement. There's a double size cot thing down there." Willow smiled and put her arm out in a guiding manner. After showing them to the basement she walked slowly back to the den, hoping to catch Kennedy as she came back down the stairs. She wasn't sure why, but the girl set off the same strange tingling sensation just by being in the room that Willow had felt the other night when Tara had told her to move on.  
  
"Kennedy?" Willow asked as she saw the girl wrapped up in herself at the foot of the stairs. She knelt down in front of Kennedy and placed her hands gently on her shoulders. "What's wrong?"  
  
Kennedy brought her head up and stared into Willow's mesmerising eyes. All pain and fear drained away from her for the second time that night. "I heard Buffy and Giles talking. and I don't know if I can do this. training and kicking demon ass is one thing, but an actually quest. adventure. horror. thing is something else entirely. I'm not. ready to try and save the world. I'm 19. I'm supposed to be at under-age keggers and stealing cars, not fighting for the sake of everyone else."  
  
Willow smiled lightly and ran her palms over Kennedy's arms. Turning around she sat down on the next step up and put her hands on Kennedy's forearms, that were resting on her bend knees. "If I've learnt one thing from fighting all these apocalyptic thingies with Buffy and Xander, Dawn and Giles, is that as long as we all stick together. it can work out. As soon as one of us tries to go all hero and save the world alone, or destroying it alone depends on what road you take there, but my point is something bad always happens. So we've learnt that the strongest we are is when we're together. Stick with us, and we'll make you a hero anyway. We're the penultimate unsung heroes."  
  
"Ok. I trust you."  
  
"Good. Now let's find you somewhere to sleep. Michael had a burst of authority and declared that the rest of the band are staying here tonight as well. Creating a little beds problem. But it should be alright." Willow stood and extended her hand for Kennedy to take.  
  
As she rested her fingers in Willow's grip Kennedy felt a slight shock run up her arm. A small bolt of electricity, almost enjoyable. She hoisted herself up and smiled into Willow's eyes.  
  
"And they say that a hero can save us, I'm not gonna stand here and wait." Kennedy sang and Willow giggled.  
  
"Funny, aren't ya?" Willow grinned, turning to face the lounge she called out, "Faith sleep with Buffy, Giles stay at Xander's. Problem solved. Night everyone."  
  
"You're with me." Willow took Kennedy's hand and lead her towards the room that they now shared. 


	17. And the Plot Thickens

Two shout-outs to make. One to Mina, Majandra is a frikkin' Goddess. Woohoo! And to Jessica, thanks for the email. You're right, I DID beg. But I'll get over it.  
  
--------  
  
The morning came swiftly and without warning. Kennedy felt the bright sunlight penetrate her eyelids and she forced them open with a slight groan. Her eyes drifted over to the redhead who she'd shared a bed with during the night. Memories of their conversation, the extent of their sharing, brought a reminiscent smile to her face. They spoke of almost everything that had come to mind. Their childhoods, pasts, dreams for the future, feelings and even favourite things, had been discussed, analysed and laughed over. In particular Kennedy had explained the situation with Michael's brother and Willow had delved into her deepest fear, magic, and shared her relief that she hadn't turned into the dark translation of herself.  
  
Kennedy lifted her body from the bed lightly and glanced sidelong towards her new friend. When Willow had started to speak of her ex-girlfriend the tears had flow freely and without shame, but she'd managed a smile at the end and stated frankly that she was ready to move on if the right girl showed up. Kennedy had merely returned her smile and nodded in understanding.  
  
Tugged her discarded jeans onto her hips, the dark-haired potential walked slowly from the room, attentive to not making a sound so as to wake the still sleeping witch. Making her way down the stairs, she swept her hair up into a loose ponytail at the back of her head. She wandered around aimlessly for a few seconds before remembering where faith had walking into last night to get Willow water. Kitchen. Breakfast time.  
  
The aroma of cooking bacon brought her completely out of her post-sleeping doze.  
  
"Hey, it's my favourite rock-star." Faith grinned at the girl as she forced her body into the kitchen. She used the spatula to fish the bacon from the pan and placed it onto two plates that were already laden with toast and eggs. "What some food? It's supposed to be for B, but I'm sure she can use her Slayer cooking skills just as well as me."  
  
"That. would be amazing." Kennedy rubbed a sore muscle in her neck and took the knife and fork Faith handed her. Willow's bed was comfortable, but Kennedy had managed to fall into dreamland in the most awkward position imaginable.  
  
"Here ya go." Faith slid the plate over to the side of the island bench that Kennedy was on, then proceeded to cover her eggs so thickly in pepper that the other girl thought it would've been impossible for her digestive tract to survive the spicy onslaught.  
  
"Thanks. Faith, right?" Kennedy asked as she started to process her surroundings properly.  
  
"In the flesh." Faith had a mouthful of pepper, with a little poached egg and toast on the side.  
  
Kennedy cringed and grinned at her companion, "Real classy. Uhhh, so you're the."  
  
".Rouge Slayer. It's ok, you can say it, it won't turn you into me." Faith shrugged and forced a tight lipped smile. She'd devoured most of her breakfast already and was crushing through her last portion of bacon.  
  
"No, not what I meant Miss Defensive. It was purely an enquiry." Kennedy smirked and forked her last fraction of egg and toast into her mouth. Grinning like a greedy cat, she wiped a dribble of yolk from her lip.  
  
"Careful, Special K, Red's rubbin' off on ya already." Faith snorted and took both of their plates over to the sink.  
  
Kennedy stopped for a moment and pondered her situation. She realised that it as somewhat idyllic. A roof, good people, food and, if her life was a sitcom, a new love interest. She looked over at Faith and smiled, it was turning out to be an interesting trip.  
  
Meanwhile, in the bedroom, Willow was gradually returning to consciousness. She felt the lack of presence beside her almost immediately, jerking her rudely into the real world. She'd never admit to it but she was rather enjoying the raunchy dream she was having. It involved a potential slayer and a medium to large amount of whipped cream.  
  
"Well that was interesting." Whether she was referring to the dream or her night of talking with Kennedy, she wasn't sure. In a state of sudden clarity Willow removed her body from the tangle of sheets. Making her way down the hall, towards the bathroom, she realised that she'd left her clothes in the room and had to turn around to retrieve them.  
  
Once she was prepared properly for her cleansing ritual, Willow proceeded to remove her pyjamas and closed her eyes as she enveloped herself in the calming flux of water, cascading from the shower rose. 


	18. Those Eyes

-Willow POV-  
  
In this thing we call life, we all have to make decisions. These moments can be the difference between our lives turning into absolute crap, and become pure, unadulterated bliss.  
  
Last night I made one of these life altering decisions. I opened up. To someone I barely know, and for some reason it didn't feel wrong, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't hold back. I let this girl see inside my soul, I allowed her to wipe away my tears, whisper into my ear and push away my silent fears.  
  
With some unknown motive in mind I let this peculiar connection with her become stronger, she has this ability to make me feel like nothing else matters except me. I haven't felt that since my beloved Tara was killed, and I was so sure I'd never feel it again. Strange how these things happen.  
  
I'm almost positive that Tara was referring to Kennedy when she told me that the girl I'm supposed to move on with would be coming soon. Relief is the dominating emotion, I have to admit. I was scared that she meant Faith. The mere suggestion makes me shudder. Faith's a great person these days, as a friend.  
  
So I dry my hair and do up the top button on my, as of yet, unworn hipsters. I tug down the bottom of the tight black button up I'd grabbed while I was searching for clean clothes. She's smart, kind and sexy like crazy, so I'm not gonna hold back this time.  
  
I let my fingers drift up and undo the bottom two buttons on the shirt and rearrange it so only the smallest bit of my stomach is showing. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't so pale, but it tends to work for me, so I don't think that often.  
  
The bathroom door is all that's blocking me from the outside world. Today I'm going to do something I've never really thought about before. Be the aggressor. Be the one who actually makes the first move. New things, new day, new outlook. Power-Willow to the rescue.  
  
-Kennedy POV-  
  
This is insane.  
  
Totally mad-crazy.  
  
Last night I met this girl, I'd seen her before, but not actually spoken to her or had in proper interaction with her. Now I'm laying here, staring at the ceiling, wishing she'd come down from upstairs and we could talk. I'm kinda confused. Well, really, I'm very fucking confused.  
  
It's 11am and the entire house is awake. Everyone's either eating or making food so they CAN eat. Faith went for a run about twenty minutes ago. The Dawn chick's somewhere with my band. I feel rejected. Buffy's been being nice, but I guess she sort of has to be. Xander, Anya and the creepy English dude arrived just after Faith departed and are all eating. I thought they went to someone else's place. haven't they got food there?  
  
Interesting, the roof is two different shades of beige. Probably a demon blasted through it or something. Doesn't really matter anyway. I wish I'd told Willow about those hallucination things. At least then she could understand. something. Making sense isn't something I've been doing much of lately.  
  
Footsteps. On the stairs. The only person upstairs is coming down. Finally.  
  
Since we started this rollercoaster ride of fame, I've been afraid of becoming attached to anyone outside of my circle. But, even if I am going to die, I really /want/ to get attached to Willow. In anyway possible. Even if it's just as friends. She's just so damn entrancing.  
  
I stand from my laying position on the couch, which unfortunately still smelt like Michael, and walk to foot of the stairwell.  
  
Willow smiles warmly at me as she makes her way down and my head tilts itself sideways as I watch her take one step after another, her hand draped softly on the handrail.  
  
"Willow." I start, my brain momentarily scrambles and I forget what I was going to say. She looks so gorgeous. Jeez! Why am I thinking like goddam teenager? Wait, scrap that, I still /am/ a teenager. Sorta. But her hair's wet and her skin glistens with the remaining moisture from her shower. A fraction of her stomach is revealed by the undone buttons of her top, pale soft skin peeking invitingly from just above her jeans.  
  
"Yeah?" She's looking at me with a mixture of uncertainty and happiness. So easy to read, so cute.  
  
Oh yeah, I'm supposed to speak now. "I. ahhh. never mind." Stupid, stupid, stupid. Mental bitch slap.  
  
"No. What?" I sense the slight confusion, bordering on fear, in her voice. Why do I have to sound so serious?  
  
"It's just." My voice fails me at the moment of truth and I can't believe it. I'm a certified rock star, lead singer no less, and I can't even talk to this girl! How pathetic! Argh! Ok, focus Kennedy. Stop staring at her, she's looking freaked out. ". Good Morning." Smile. Good. Well done. You managed to say something, now keep going.  
  
"Mornin'." Willow's eyes captivate me and I feel the tightening in my gut increase. Not fair. Why can't I have this effect on her?  
  
"Sorry, I'm weird. Um, you hungry? I'm sure they haven't devoured every last morsel of sustenance in the house. Though we can't be sure." Devoured? Morsel? Sustenance? What am I on?  
  
"Heh, ok. can I ask you something?" Her eyes. Those fuckin' eyes! It's like every single possible shade of green is contained in them. The tiniest flecks of gold and copper though-out, just to top it off. I think I understand hypnotism now. And if I didn't know better I'd have to say I feel like she's enjoying it. The sheer torture of not being able to tell her that I like her. I really, really, really like her. I don't even KNOW HER! God help me.  
  
"Sure, anything." Great, I sounded casual. Not bad casual, not uncaring casual, just ordinary casual. I hope.  
  
"Well." She starts and the note of apprehension in her voice daunts me a little. 


	19. Biting

Kennedy reached up and nervously tucked a stray strand of her silky raven hair behind her right ear. Persistently, it fell forward again. Willow was fidgeting with her fingers. Doubt cascading around her. The redheaded witch took a deep breath and looked deeply into the potential's eyes. Her demeanour suggested supreme fear and anxiety.  
  
"What're you doing tonight? I mean there's this little food place where we could eat, and I don't mean as a date or anything, just as friends, unless you want it to be more, in which case I'd like that too. but if you don't want to go at all that'd be alright too, I just thought you might-" She was silenced by Kennedy's fingertips pressing into her lips.  
  
"I'd love to." The sweetest of all smiles spread across Kennedy's face and she looked at her feet. "I was kinda gunna ask you if you wanted to get something to eat later anyway." Her teeth found a comfortable position on her bottom lip as she bit down gently.  
  
"Really?" Willow inhaled sharply and reached out, gripping the younger girl's hands in her own and shaking them up and down lightly. "So, it's, like, a date?"  
  
Kennedy's smile grew wider at the thought. "I guess so."  
  
"Aww ain't it cute?" Faith smirked and softly slapped Kennedy on the back. "Sounds like a soap opera. The Potential and The Witch."  
  
"Don't make me bite you." Kennedy grinned at Faith. The playful interaction was bordering on flirting and Willow felt the unfamiliar sensation of jealousy dance in her stomach.  
  
"Don't make /me/ bite /you/." Willow cut in, raising a bemused eyebrow at Kennedy.  
  
Kennedy's breath suddenly caught in her throat as she diverted her attention back to the gorgeous redhead. The slight twinkle in her eye, sultry smile and the smallest note of insecurity in her voice were all so cute.  
  
"I'll leave you two to the biting." Faith laughed as she pushed past Willow and made her way to the recently vacated bathroom. Her intention was to take an incredibly cold shower and calm down from the bed-sharing with Buffy. Her mind was playing with the notion of talking to Willow about the whole 'Gay factor'. But she instantly dismissed the idea. She couldn't think of herself as 'Gay'. Bisexual was closer to the mark.  
  
"Well I thought we'd go out and all that jazz before we got to the biting." Kennedy's smile sent warm shockwaves down to the pit of Willow's gut. There was just something about her.  
  
"I agree, the biting can wait."  
  
"Hmm. I'm slightly concerned. Dawn's hijacked my band. We /are/ on tour." Kennedy glanced backwards towards the door. It wasn't really worrying her, but she was searching for a reason to keep the conversation going.  
  
Willow released the young singer's hands and looped her thumbs through her belt buckles. "She'll be back. Have you had breakfast? Coz I'm starving and food is being smelt, so I'm getting increasingly famished and. shutting up now."  
  
"Don't. Shut up I mean. I mean." Kennedy stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jeans and looked down at the floor. Her eyes betrayed her and flickered up into those of the Witch. ". I think it's cute."  
  
Willow's heart suddenly performed a small acrobatics routine in her chest. "You're not so. un-cute yourself."  
  
"Making up words. Hah. C'mon we better get you some food." Kennedy reached out and took hold of Willow's left hand, bringing it up over her shoulder she spun around and marched into the kitchen. Willow walked along behind her, hand draped loosely over Kennedy's shoulder, her fingers tingling where the brunette's hand lay atop hers. 


	20. Junkie

The nervous anticipation from the two girls filled the air all day. During the brief Buffy felt inclined to give, Kennedy had slipped away and was unfortunately mobbed at the mall where she was buying new clothes for the evening ahead.  
  
As five thirty arrived neither Willow or Kennedy could be found and the other residents were wondering what they were up to. Kennedy emerged first, from Buffy's bedroom. Dressed in black pinstriped pants and a somewhat tight short-sleeved red button up, she walked down the stairs with her hair swaying gently as she made her way down.  
  
Maria and Cera were both walking through the front door and as they saw her their jaws dropped.  
  
"Whoa! Ken, where you goin'?" Maria took a step toward her friend and poked her in the stomach. Cera reached out and grabbed Maria's upper arm. When Maria looked back, questioning and laughter in her eyes, Cera gestured for her to look up towards the apex of the staircase.  
  
Kennedy turned around when shock officially plastered itself all over Maria's face. The sight that beheld her was breathtaking. Willow stood, one hand on the wall beside the steps, the other loosely held by her side. Her body was adorned with dark denim flared jeans and a loose fitting, long- sleaved, black peasant top. It was Kennedy's turn to let her jaw hit the floor. Her hair fell around her face, framing her cheekbones. Purity and peace were radiated from her very being, calming the three girls at the foot of the stairwell.  
  
Emerald eyes sparkling, Willow took each step slowly, never letting her gaze waver from Kennedy for a moment, she practically floated downwards. Kennedy was surrounded by her, the witch's scent floating around her.  
  
"Hi." Kennedy squeaked out, forcing her voice-box into action. The tranquillity she felt inside was astounding. Her heart could no longer deny how much she felt for the red-haired girl. A few visions, a day and she was hooked. Craving her like an addict. A Willow junkie.  
  
"Hi." The redhead ran her fingertips down the smooth of Kennedy's forearm before intertwining their fingers together and grasping the Potential's hand lightly.  
  
"Go Kennedy." Cera whispered into Kennedy's ear as the two girls walked past and out the door. The lingering smile on the brunette's face was caught by Willow and her lips twitched a little as she felt a sudden burst of emotion from the younger girl.  
  
"It's nice out here. do you wanna walk?" Willow tilted her head slightly sideways and turned a little to face Kennedy.  
  
Pulling herself out of her Willow-induced trance Kennedy laughed softly, "As long as I don't get ambushed again."  
  
An instant expression of concern and anger flashed over Willow's features. "Demons?"  
  
"Worse." Kennedy's face was grim.  
  
"Vampires?"  
  
"Even worse. Fans." The raven-haired girl broke out into laughter again and bit down on her lower lip before glancing back up to her companion.  
  
Willow released a goofy giggle, "Oooh rabid teenyboppers, dangerous. Wait. When did you get ambushed?" Worry flooding her face yet again.  
  
"Chill Red, I had to go and buy clothes. I snuck out when Buffy started ranting." She raised a bemused eyebrow and grinned sheepishly.  
  
"Oh right, makes sense. Wanna get going?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
They walked mostly in a comfortable silence, both just basking in the other's company. Small talk was made, but nothing concrete was established. As Kennedy opened the door to the small restaurant Willow let go of the younger girl's hand for the first time since they'd left the house.  
  
"Reservation for Lewis and Rosenberg." Willow smiled at a man standing behind a wooden podium. He bowed in return and led them over to a small table in the corner.  
  
"Cosy." Kennedy's eyes met those dazzling green orbs and for a spilt second she couldn't breathe. Her lungs refused to work and she was light headed for a moment.  
  
"Definitely cosy. After dinner, do you wanna go to a movie or something? Or we could just go home, damn frogs." Willow's eyes were scanning the menus the man had provided them with.  
  
Kennedy allowed her eyes to flicker uncontrolled from her own menu and back up to the witch repeatedly. Willow sensed the girl's eyes on her and she looked up to meet her gaze.  
  
"God."  
  
".dess"  
  
"Yeah. you're really beautiful you know?" Kennedy couldn't control herself any longer. She'd been hovering in her patient limbo, but her impulsive nature got the better of her and she had to tell Willow what she thought.  
  
Resting her fingers on the top of the menu she was balancing on the tabletop. A warm, genuine smile combine with her increasingly red face made Kennedy giggle slightly. "You say it like you're not." 


	21. Resolve

Short chapter for Mina. Back to Casa Summer now chidlins. No need to thank me for being illegitimately addicted to writing. Blame Simple Plan for this. Thought I better give some of the other characters some play. You sure have a dirty mind.  
  
------------------  
  
Xander sat on the sofa in the Summers' lounge room. His obvious sulking facial expression left nothing to the imagination. He was pissed off.  
  
Anya bounced in, smiling from ear to ear with her usual vacant look adorning her face. When her eyes drifted over Xander's pathetic slump she trundles over to him and snuggles down into his chest. "What's wrong beady eyes?"  
  
"Beady.? I won't even ask."  
  
"No don't. Memories of the theories blow my mind."  
  
"Mind?"  
  
"Ok, not mind."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"So what's wrong?" She pursued, laying her hand lightly on his cheek.  
  
"More evils. I just want it to go away. Dammit."  
  
"Awww." Anya looked up as Buffy stormed through the lounge and screamed out.  
  
"GILES!" Buffy paced her way into the dining room.  
  
"Yes?" Giles snapped form the table. He was surrounded in open books and scraps of parchment.  
  
"How do we kill it? Just let me kill it and then we can let the band go and Faith wouldn't be all over the drummer in my bedroom." Buffy sat down next to Giles, slumping over with a sigh. "I'm just sick of having to save the world. I hate the world anyway. Can't it just die already?"  
  
"You know, you have the calling. You alone have the responsibility." Giles removed his glasses and placed them down gently on the table. He laid his hand softly on Buffy's arm.  
  
"I'm not alone. I have Faith. In two ways." Nodding her head slowly, Buffy stood abruptly. "And we've done it before. What can be so bad about our worst fear?"  
  
Buffy turned from Giles and walked quickly out the front door. She didn't know where she was going, but she needed to get out of the house. It was home to so many memories of things she'd said and done in the past, people she didn't want to have to remember, and some she did.  
  
"You're about to answer your own question." A familiar voice stated with a chilling malice from behind her. Buffy turned swiftly and stared into her own cold, soulless eyes. 


	22. Making Sense

"Mmm you smell like vanilla." Kennedy brushed a stray strand of Willow's auburn locks away from her face. Tracing a slow finger down the witch's cheekbone, Kennedy winked and allowed the small drifting smile she never really wore to lay its claim over her lips. Willow couldn't help but reciprocate with a gentle smile of her own. They were both enraptured in the moment. The soft, cool night air wistfully circling around them as if a protective shield.  
  
After dinner, the two girls had proceeded to go to a movie, which had exceeded their expectations of how awful it would be. Kennedy had laughed during all the entire thing, the mediocre acting ingrained in her thought process, causing her to have a laughter seizure of tremendous proportions. Her companion joined the laughter, not so much laughing at the movie, but more so at the girl she was with. Kennedy's laugh was intoxicating, like a subtle hit of vodka in an otherwise non-alcoholic beverage.  
  
They sat on a park bench, overlooking an abandoned playground. Willow could vaguely recall being one of those children running around with Xander, laughing like nothing could ever cause pain, or heartache. She remembered climbing the ladder to the slide, soaring downwards like she was flying, wishing for it to never end.  
  
Sometimes she tried to imagine a life without her friends. If her and Xander had never been in trouble, and Buffy hadn't saved them, she could live in the possibilities of it all for another lifetime, on the odd occasion she longed for it, that simple taste of normalcy. Other times she could believe she'd think such things, her mind couldn't even grasp what her life would really be like without the influences of Buffy, Giles, Angel, Dawn, Riley, Anya, Oz, Cordelia, Faith and Wesley. Even Spike, Drusilla, Andrew, Warren, Glory/Ben, Principal Snider and all the rest. But her mind always pulled her towards Tara. She refused to contemplate a moment of time without Tara. She wouldn't sacrifice a single second she'd had with Tara to rid herself of the perpetual pain in her chest.  
  
"You're quiet. Trying to blend in?" Kennedy nestled her hand back into Willow's and leaned back into the polish oak timber of the bench, keeping her eyes trained on the witch the whole time.  
  
"Just thinking. This town holds so many memories, so many things that I'd hate to forget, but sometimes I'd love to rip some of it out of my mind." Willow sighed complacently and let her head rest on the brunette's shoulder. For the first time in a long while she felt safe and at home. Even with the threat of this Reine Furcht looming behind every closed door, Willow truly understood Tara. She didn't want Willow to be lonely. Deep within her soul, somewhere light would never go, Willow still felt her internal evil beating a path to the surface, but she knew it could never overcome her again. She had the power to defeat anything, as long as she had her friends. New and old.  
  
"Yeah, when I left home with Edward my life kind of turn a bad turn. Without my family around me, keeping me in check, I was so lost. Like a scared little kid who got spilt up from her momma at the store. I ran around like a lunatic, trying to find somewhere to fit in. Once the guys caught up with me, they dropped out of school and came all the way to England to find me, I felt that little bit more whole. Then, just after Edward was killed, I went home, saw my Mom and Dad for the first time in years, and a pack of demons followed me, they killed my parents. I swore I'd never let anyone I love get hurt because of me again. It really gives you a new perspective, doesn't it? Losing that which you hold so dear. It's probably why I'm so fucked up. I can't let people love me, because it usually gets them killed. Jarrad loved me, and he died, my parents loved me, and they died. So, keeping separate is easier than having that eternal loss boiling in your soul. But I don't really make much sense."  
  
Willow turned her body and faced Kennedy, looking deeply into her eyes. The deep, creamy chocolate of her irises drawing so much emotion from the red- head. She felt like her insides were grouping together and doing a square dance.  
  
"You make perfect sense." Willow leant forward and let her hand drift up and cheek Kennedy's cheek. She wet her lips slowly with her tongue.  
  
Kennedy pushed forward so their lips were almost touching. "For some reason, everything makes sense right now." Her hot breath tickled Willow's lips.  
  
The redheaded witch closed her eyes and lent in, Kennedy simultaneously let her eyelids drift closed and felt the slightest brush of Willow's soft lips against hers. Her body reacted and a light, tingling sensation danced its way over her skin. Willow pressed in a little more fervently and captured Kennedy's lips properly, suckling on her bottom lip. Small kisses repeated themselves, both girls completely trapped in the moment. 


	23. The Purity of Cold

Buffy stood stock still. The arrogant posture of the beast, that was pretending to be her, was unnerving. Almost like the decision of the victor had already been made.  
  
The Buffy clone started to circle the shocked Slayer. "Who'd have thought. The one thing the Slayer is the most afraid of is herself.  
  
"You stand alone, constantly, fighting back all the internal demons you force yourself to endure. No-one could ever understand you. You're special. You're chosen. You're a fighter, and fighters don't give in, or give up. But you gave up. You know you're weak, in the same way that you're strong."  
  
Fake Buffy reached out and ran a finger slowly over the girl's exposed collarbones. "And from your soul you're screaming out for him to return to you, because just like he was, you're dead inside. He made you feel alive. He made you feel like you actually deserved the title that everyone go glibly afforded you. But no matter now, you're pretty much over."  
  
Buffy suddenly came back to her senses and saw that she was surrounded by men. All the same, all adorning navy blue cloaks. Their eyes flashing deep shades of blue at her, like shining jewels. She diverted her gaze back to the smirking version of herself.  
  
"I'm not going to hurt you, Slayer. No. But your friend. the Witch. she's on a date. With another girl. a Potential. I don't like this lesbianism thing. It's dirty and wrong. I'm going to. teach them lesson. Hopefully. this will bring them one step closer to purity and cleanliness." As abruptly as the uber-Buffy had arrived in departed into thin air.  
  
"Ok. this so isn't cool." The blonde Slayer stared around and tried to face all the beast simultaneously. Quickly and cleanly they all grouped near the doorway to the Summer's house and paced through the doorway. Not even leaving a mark.  
  
"More with the un-cool. You guys'd get teased at high school you know." Buffy groaned and ran into the house. The door slowing her down. "I want that power."  
  
A penetrating, blood-curdling scream ripped through the unnerving silence of the abode. A split-second afterwards every person the house was rushing to the base of the stairwell. Buffy was shocked. Who had they gone after?  
  
Cera had fear in her eyes and was shaking fiercely. Her mouth opened slowly, "Maria."  
  
The group scattered, Cera, Buffy and Faith pounding up the stairs. Faith broke down the locked door of the bathroom and recoiled back into the wall of the hallway, her hand flying up to meet her lips. Cera saw and flew into the bathroom. The sudden silence of the situation was as cold as it was mourning. Sweeping sharply over the three girls, the sight of Maria's lifeless body permanently ingrained in their minds. 


End file.
